I don't think I realised...no, that sounds vain. I guess I'm trying to say...if things happened when I was too out of it to notice...and people needed me and I wasn't there...I'm sorry. I didn't realise how much people depended on me. I just sort of...went along with everything. But I've been sober for three days and I've spent all of them helping people. I like helping. It's good. I just never thought about it before.
I'm rambling and making even less sense than usual. I think I'm saying, I need to learn not to be a dipshit again because people need me and if I'm being a dipshit I am therefore unavailable. So...I won't be unavailable. Still feeling like crap, but not unavailable. Yes that.
I bought Aly an amethyst bracelet and it looks gorgeous on her. But she's always gorgeous.