Father Peter Kemp (father_peter) wrote,
Father Peter Kemp
father_peter

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To Those in the Know

Svetlana came over to the house yesterday. I invited her though, she didn't just show up. I'm worried about her. She seemed perfectly fine at first. Okay no, that's a lie. I found her trying to put carp in her floor. And then she threw the carp at me because I said they looked unhappy. One was alive. And slimy. God slime is gross. Anyway, I'm being distracted by germs. I invited her over and she was laughing and having a good time and then she dissolved into tears. She said she couldn't find her wedding dress and she'd spent hours looking for it and she didn't understand why she didn't have it. Of course, the reason she doesn't have it is because she never married me, but she honestly believes she did. She believes that Anna and Lydia are her daughters, but she also realises she's never been pregnant before. She said she was scared. Svetlana is scared. And I just want to fix it. And please let's not get in to why I care for the moment. It'll do my head in.

I think the reason Svetlana created this elaborate lie for herself is evident. She was abandoned by her family and then her foster family tried to have her exorcised instead of getting her more conventional help (which granted wouldn't have really helped either, but it would have been less...confronting). She loves children, and she's always wanted a family. So she made one. And bless my dear daughter's heart, but Anna prepetuated her delusions by playing along with them while being kept by Svetlana. Not that any of this is Anna's fault in the least. Or...anyone's really. It's just happened. And I'm worried about what she'll go through when she finds out that this family is not her own. Anna would never abandon her now, she loves Svetlana. And I certainly wouldn't. But it must be terrifying to find out that something you've believed so wholeheartedly just isn't true. I can relate in a way. I lost my faith. But losing my family would be so far beyond worse. Losing my reality? I can't fathom it.

I'm trying to make her realise she has a place with us. That's important for her to know, especially if she starts to realise that she and I were never actually married. She says she's lonely and I don't want anyone to feel that way. That's why she came over for dinner. Aly cooked for her. (And everyone should take a moment and realise how incredible my wife is!) Venison and brie because...pregnant. And Lydia was even okay with her. Although that caused more confusion because Svetlana believed Lydia had been eaten by carrion birds. Yeah, I really don't know. She was terrified and she said 'I don't want to know the truth'. But she's going to find out herself eventually. This is just one of those situations I have no idea how to help.
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