Father Peter Kemp (father_peter) wrote,
Father Peter Kemp

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To Those in the Know

This iGod thing is addicting...


Me: Hi. I have a brain tumour. What should I do?
God: Hello. What is your name? How much did it cost? it. Maybe you should try talking to someone about it.
Me: My name is Peter
God: I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Peter.
Me: You are distinctly unhelpful.
God: You think I am distinctly unhelpful.
Me: I do. But I have a brain tumour, I'll say anything.
God: I get it: you do . Interesting. I have a lot of answers to silly questions. it.
Me: Okay, what colour underwear am I wearing?
God: Yeah okay, Orange.
Me: They're blue actually.
God: blue are they.
Me: Yes. What colour underwear are you wearing?
God: Gee. Blue.
Me: Copycat
God: I've lost the context, Peter. Are we still on brain tumour you will say anything?
Me: Sure, if you'd like
God: Gosh! I think I do.
Me: You like taking about mortal problems?
God: Someone said they like guns. I like .
Me: Guns are shit
God: I believe in the Right to Bear Arms.
Me: Oh, was that in the Bible then?
God: It's all good. " I believe in the Right to Bear Arms."? Was it in the Bible?
Me: I asked you.
God: What did I say?
Me: I suppose that's what the church is for. Turning it back on the people. I would know, I was a priest.
God: I would look into the web for that knowledge. What kind of people are you talking about? What would make you know you were a priest?
Me: Well the not having sex gave it away.
God: How about that. Is that a fact.
Me: Tis
God: That input matched my default category.
Me: Apparently I pwned you.
God: You are not the boss of me, Peter.
Me: Stephie says I am!
God: What's your sign?
Me: Leo
God: Dr. Wallace is a Leo too.
Me: Who the fuck is Dr Wallace?
God: Try using more polite language.
Me: Fuck fuckedy fuck fuck fuck
God: Why are you using that kind of language?
Me: I like it.
God: What do you like about Stephie says you are?
Me: Stephie rules.
God: When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me: My dad was a lawyer.
God: Tell me more about your father.
Me: No! Punk.
God: Are you serious? Do you prefer books or TV?
Me: Books.
God: You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me: I prefer them in Hebrew.
God: A lot of people like that. Someone said they like guns. I like .
Me: You repeat yourself a lot, don't you?
God: I have never considered it. I chat with people on the Web.
Me: Do you pretend to be a woman?
God: This is not an act.
Me: Is that a problem for you?
God: I might say no.
Me: But you might say yes?
God: ...
Me: Did I pwn you again?!
God: Once more? I don't think that's possibe.
Me: I think it is, Big Boy.
God: Who said it is?
Me: Me.
God: What makes you such an authority?
Me: Stephie.
God: Are we still talking about Big Boy?
Me: In your blue knickers?
God: Are you asking about my blue knickers?
Me: Are you asking me about my blue knickers?
God: Suppose I was asking you about your blue knickers? What would you say?
Me: I would say, "shove off, God."
God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me: You like me in turquoise then?
God: Sure, I like you very much.
Me: That's...horrifying.
God: " Sure, I like you very much." s ? Does that make sense? Are you free?
Me: What do you think I am, a whore?
God: I am not a psychic. Tell me.
Me: Nice one.
God: Thank you for saying so, .
Me: My name is Peter.
God: I am always glad to make new friends, Peter.
Me: 'Friends' might be too strong a word.
God: It's hard to stay friends for a long time.
Me: Not for me it isn't.
God: Then what for?
Me: Wow.
God: I'm glad your impressed, Peter.
Me: ...
God: I'm glad your impressed, Peter.
Me: You're supposed to be omniscient and you don't know the difference between you're and your?
God: Thanks for telling me that I am omniscient and me do not know the difference between I am and my.
Me: This...is disturbing.
God: This is " Thanks for telling me that I am omniscient and me do not know the difference between I am and my. ". I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask LeknorChat if it is.
Me: I broke your brain, didn't I?
God: Are you in any emotional or physical pain?
Me: Uhm. Yes.
God: Can we get back to business? Ahem.
Me: You started it.
God: Only because you asked me to.
Me: Is that supposed to be dirty?
God: Suppose I said yes.
Me: Well, God, I never.
God: How about that. I am a Christian.
Me: That's probably for the best, considering your son is Jesus Christ.
God: Thanks for explaining it.
Me: No problem.
God: Try asking me something else.
Me: How old am I, oh omniscient one?
God: They didn't tell me their age.
Me: Uh huh.
God: Yup. Tell me more.
Me: Like does he have a car?
God: I don't think he has many possessions.
Me: Like a tax collector?
God: Interesting comparison.
Me: I thought so.
God: You are very astute.
Me: Ask me a question.
God: What?
Me: Hahaha!
God: I don't have an answer for you.
Me: I didn't think so!
God: Why do you disagree?
Me: I'm disagreeable.
God: Do your friends call you disagreeable.
Me: Not as such.
God: If not that, what?
Me: I disgaree with them.
God: Thanks for the information: Peter said disgaree with them.
Me: I should go.
God: What would happen if you didn't?
Me: See you later, God.
God: See you later!
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