March 16th, 2007

Looking Down

To Those in the Know

Everyone's asleep now. Christina is in with Aly and William's in the guestroom. Thomas is with Kat and Tasha's in her room. I can hear the darling Rosa snoring. And I can't sleep so I was reading back on the things I'd written as I often do. It's easy to forget the things we've learned and it's always a good idea to read through them so we can remember where I've been. That's why I've kept my journals for some many years. I found this though which used to be private and now it's not, and I don't know how I feel about it. I don't know how I should feel.

I don't feel all heroic, like Deirdre was. Not at all. More...violated but dealing I think.

I visited Svetlana today and we talked. I think I got through to her. Or we made progress anyway. She explained her feelings and I finally understood. And I explained mine and she apologised. She says she's happy. She likes it when I try. She called Thomas her best friend. She was sad he has to go. She smiled and made me laugh. I laughed with her. Thomas says he's going to miss her. She killed him and he'll miss her. And she...did whatever she did to me...and I laughed with her.

And I don't understand any of it for a second. I'm completely confused. I hope that's acceptable.

Oh and Tasha pierced my ear. Well she didn't do it herself, but she took me to the place and they did the thing.
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