August 4th, 2007

Far Away

To Those in the Know

I spent all day with Paul. Samantha took their daughter Dahlia while she was being looked after by Paul's parents. So there's another demon we need to be on the lookout for. Samantha loves Paul, so I do believe she'll contact him. I hope so. He's with his parents now and I'm home again.

I don't think I realised...no, that sounds vain. I guess I'm trying to say...if things happened when I was too out of it to notice...and people needed me and I wasn't there...I'm sorry. I didn't realise how much people depended on me. I just sort of...went along with everything. But I've been sober for three days and I've spent all of them helping people. I like helping. It's good. I just never thought about it before.

I'm rambling and making even less sense than usual. I think I'm saying, I need to learn not to be a dipshit again because people need me and if I'm being a dipshit I am therefore unavailable. So...I won't be unavailable. Still feeling like crap, but not unavailable. Yes that.

I bought Aly an amethyst bracelet and it looks gorgeous on her. But she's always gorgeous.
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