March 21st, 2009

Ugh Fucker

To Those in the Know, away from Aly

Anna is being watched over by Abby, and Baby Thomas and Lauren are asleep. Lydia is staying with Kismet again and I really don't blame her. Nor do I blame Tasha for escaping to Flynn's. She's been incredible through all of this. Caleb and I had a really long talk about why Mummy doesn't mean the things she's saying. I'm more worried about him than the others. He and Aly were two peas in a pod for so long. He's taking this personally. He just decided to go to bed a half hour ago, though I'll keep checking on him because I'm not entirely sure he actually went to sleep.

I just don't know what to do. William's here and he seems as clueless as I do. My wife is hurting the feelings of my children. I mean...I could handle it if it were just me. Not well. The things she's saying to me are cutting very deep. But no one messes with my kids. And anyone who does...I react automatically. But when it's your wife...

I am honestly at my wit's end with her. I understand grief. My best friend is gone too. But family comes first. When Thomas died the first time, I shut down completely and drank myself into a stupor every night. And...every day. I can't do that now. I have to take care of my family. How is this excusable when Anna is so sick?

It's easier to just let her go. And that hurts. I love her and it hurts.
  • Current Mood
    indescribable indescribable