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That somehow this black night feels warmer for the spark [entries|friends|calendar]
Father Peter Kemp

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Friends Only [Friday, May 7th, 2010 @ 2:39am]
[ mood | optimistic ]

No seizures in two days, and today I spent all day shopping with Lydia and Anna who insisted that they wanted me to do it instead of Aly. Not because I know what I am doing, but because I am a bigger pushover. We ate lunch at Caffe Nero so I could have caffeine and Lydia had two of the milkshake frappes. Then she was quite hyper and she spent two hours telling me about the advantages of boots and why she needed some. Then we went to Camden and Anna led me around the market and it was terrifying. She was in Heaven. She bought these neon hair things to wear in her hair and I don't understand them, but now her hair is blond and purple and pink. We ate some snacks of Questionable Origin and a pigeon stalked us and I squealed, and then we returned home and Caleb informed me he wants boots like Lydia's. That's a day.

Anna has given Caleb a makeover with some of her purchases from tody, and now Caleb looks a little bit like Boy George. I'm hiding, because she's trying to give me one too. She said, "Daddy, don't you want to be pretty?!" I am not entirely sure more coiffing would help out. Lydia already bought me a pink earring today because it made her laugh. I'm wearing it now.

For I am man.

Life isn't always easy, and sometimes I get quite annoyed with it, and then I have days like today and I remember the good things. Then I'm quite thankful for all I have. Because it's a hell of a lot.

13 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Ben [Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 @ 12:20am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Yeah, that just about did it, didn't it?

5 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Jeremy [Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 @ 11:10pm]
[ mood | worried ]

When you found out I was immortal did it either freak you out or make you think I was a crazy person?

7 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 @ 10:05pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Uh...so there was an incident involving my brain and some trauma and I think Serenity and Noah will never quite be the same again, but I'm fine. Everything's okay!

Just...pretend nothing happened.

31 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Saturday, May 1st, 2010 @ 3:45am]
[ mood | blank ]

Tasha is awake, though she's still got a way to go as far as healing is concerned. She is still in the ICU, but people can visit now. Just be aware she might not be entirely lucid. She's broken several ribs and a leg and both arms. Her back is broken as well. She's going to get better though. That's the important thing. That's all I can focus on right now.

I've been forced to leave the hospital, so I'm at home. Lydia's 15th birthday was yesterday and I missed it. She's amazing and she understands, but I missed so many of her birthdays when I was at the abbey in Melk. So I have the Big Guilt. She's taking the chance to monopolise me now since the littlest ones are with their grandparents at the moment.

Thomas is currently in the kitchen, wearing an apron so he can make dinner for the three of us. Lydia took pictures. And Television's Kismet Vinter might come over for dessert to distract Lydia from the fact that her sister is in hospital and her father is a Terrible Person.

I can't sleep. I can't think. I can't calm down. Thomas threatened me with taking away my books if I didn't take a nap. He's a naughty minx. I should probably listen to him. Even if it means missing The Apron Show.

4 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Thomas [Monday, April 26th, 2010 @ 2:24am]
[ mood | pensive ]

Thomas, can you come over? I need to talk to someone.

9 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Thomas [Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 @ 2:33pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Thomas! Help me! Aly's after my sperm!

15 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Svetlana [Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 @ 1:38am]
[ mood | worried ]

This probably dreadfully stupid, but the phone I gave you doesn't seem to be working and I'm worried.

Are you alright? Where are you? Can you just let me know? I miss you, Svetlana.

Confess to Me

Friends Only [Wednesday, April 21st, 2010 @ 1:33am]
[ mood | blah ]

I am pleased to have survived brain cancer twice, don't get me wrong. What I am not pleased about, is the panic attack I now have, every single time I get a headache.

What's even worse? The panic attacks my wife and children have. I just got sent to RMMH to get a CAT scan for what turned out to be a migraine. And then Ken told me to stop drinking.

So yeah. I should do that...

3 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Friday, April 9th, 2010 @ 3:36am]
[ mood | amused ]

Lydia just informed me that 'television's Kismet Vinter' is spending a few nights here because they are going to bond. She said, "uhm...because we're sisters, Dad? Duh." Silly me, I thought Anna, Rasputina and Lauren were her sisters. Apparently I am old and strange.

I plan to go and ask terribly embarassing questions like if they would like some fibre cereal, or if they want to listen to some Elvis records with me. This is fun!

5 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Monday, March 29th, 2010 @ 11:07pm]
[ mood | relieved ]

Jeremy sent me a message to let me know Lile is alive and safe, but she's in hospital. He asked me not to give specifics, as he is going to leave that up to Lile and her sister. But we can stop looking now.

Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Sunday, March 28th, 2010 @ 6:03pm]
[ mood | sad ]

It appears Jeremy's friend Lile Delaney has been missing since around March 15th. This is the first I am hearing about it, but after speaking with Jeremy it sounds quite serious. He has been looking for her for the past two weeks with the help of Rovena, but he's turned up nothing. He would like our help now, and I don't intend to refuse him.

If there's anyone who would like to help us, I would very much appreciate it.

8 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Monday, March 22nd, 2010 @ 1:34am]
[ mood | giggly ]

I believe I just got pwned by my head psychiatrist.

14 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Saturday, March 20th, 2010 @ 1:58pm]
[ mood | high ]

I'm in a helicopter.

We got Adrian and he'll be okay. I got shot with an arrow, but then I did this cool thing they do in the movies because Joe made me watch Die Hard. I dropped to the ground and shot this guy with tranq darts and he totally fell down and stopped killing Flynn. I'm amazing.

Jerome gave me morphine. Jerome is cool.

16 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Monday, March 15th, 2010 @ 3:06pm]
[ mood | angry ]

The Templar have Adrian. I have Saul on it now, trying to find out where he's been taken.

Stephie, can you fly a helicopter by yourself yet? Don't say yes because you feel you have to, we can find someone else.

4 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Wednesday, March 10th, 2010 @ 6:40pm]
[ mood | morose ]

No word on Adrian.

Thomas' door is unlocked and it's staying that way. We can watch him without locking him into a hospital room. No arguments, I won't have them.

And don't say "we thought that last time". I know, I know.

4 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Monday, February 15th, 2010 @ 2:14pm]
[ mood | pensive ]

Familiar territory, I know. Adrian and Thomas came to see me this morning regarding their trip to visit Spectre's grandfather. They tell me a renegade angel is using her powers to control the citizens of the tiny town Spectre's grandfather settled. From what they have said, someone needs to interfere.

Adrian informs me his grandfather is deceased, and it is not Braden Morrissey we are going to stop, but the town's Judge. It seems to be the town has it's own little self government and it's so small it stayed off the radar.

Anyone interested in stopping an angel? And note, I did say stopping and not killing. You know who you are.

59 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Abby [Sunday, February 14th, 2010 @ 4:07am]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Your brother is off finding crazy elderly angels (and might I just state for the record that I don't necessarily hold with the idea of Adrian and Thomas going to meet the man who made Samson batshite crazy...) so you're It.

My wife is an angel. She has her brother all up in her head now and has since September. I know you know how that is, having had Thomas in your head for a week. Did he erm...ever kiss Spectre or Mary while he was all...in there?

19 Confessions | Confess to Me

FIltered to Svetlana [Sunday, January 31st, 2010 @ 7:34pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Are you alright, Svetlana?

13 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Sunday, January 31st, 2010 @ 7:33pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I found an email from Thomas in my poor, neglected inbox. Several, actually, though the first made me giggle. Apparently I am the Antichrist because Freemasons are the work of the Devil. See? We're evil eavesdroppers. Though one does find it difficult to be nude in a dinner suit...

The other email was a list of things he wanted me to do if he was stuck here in a catatonic state like the last time he had been brought back too soon. They include (written from Thomas' point of view):

1. Stop feeling guilty. You know. Full stop. No particular reason, it's just important.
2. Make sure Spectre and Mary know I love them. I know they do, but they'll probably be upset and worried. Just remind them?
3. Eat something, you scarecrow.
4. Feed me :(
5. I just had to get up from the computer to get more food because 4 made me hungry. Dear god, french toast is awesome.
6. Keep Mums company.
7. Take care of the kids. Along with your dozen or so... I know they're taken care of, but just...do it anyway?
8. Fuck it, I need more French Toast
9. Watch over Stephie?
10. Stop crying.
11. No, really. Stop crying.
12. Grow a pair.
13. I love you.

Only Thomas. I'm so relieved it didn't end up being necessary. However horrible the end was, at least it was the end.

76 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Tuesday, January 26th, 2010 @ 6:38pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Thomas is in quite a state. He tells me he asked Svetlana to try to shock him out of his body so he could return to the beyond. We know this has worked on other occasions. I did it to Robert myself with a cricket bat (and we're going to pretend I didn't get a little vindictive pleasure out of it). It was a fair enough assumption, but it didn't work. The lower half of his body took most of the impact. His back is broken and he can't feel his legs. Which he says is actually preferable because it means he can't feel pain from them. They're broken in several places and they've been set and such. The impact would have killed him, were he not dead. He's having trouble speaking because his lungs...

I'll just keep the rest of the details out of it. Suffice to say, he's confined to the hospital because he asked me to break his neck. And I don't believe I need to see that again, thank you.

I cannot think of who could possibly need him now. Everyone who knows him will know he's suffering... They would know he can't really accomplish anything... And how could someone who doesn't know him be keeping him here. And apparently there's nothing anyone can do. No matter how old or powerful they are. The rules are the rules and Thomas just has to satisfy them.

Dammit. Fuck the fucking rules.

26 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Monday, January 18th, 2010 @ 8:29pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I returned from a rather harrowing and horrible time in Russia, only to find the basement flooded from a burst pipe, and then I went to see Amaris (what was I thinking?) and she promptly ripped my face off. Literally. I decided to give Dragonetti a miss.

It's either whine here like a little bitch, or the other kind of wine. Indulge me.

I was sent to a slaughter. Not just that, I was sent to lead a slaughter, though I didn't so much lead it as be horrified by it. I thought it was a rescue mission. I thought we were saving people.

Fuck me.

41 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Saturday, January 16th, 2010 @ 9:32pm]
[ mood | moody ]

I'm here (St Petersburg).

Don't want to talk about it.

To Those in the Know - From phone [Friday, January 8th, 2010 @ 10:49pm]
[ mood | Miserable ]

In Russia. So cold must have left nose somewhere behind us. Almost to apparently important convent. Hope no nuns. Nuns=scary.

There goes left nut. Damn.

Got here safely (with exception of nose and nut) and will keep you updated. Must destroy evil supernatural virus.

Note to self: stop living video game. Not fun.

31 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Thursday, January 7th, 2010 @ 10:52pm]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Augh. It never ends.

It appears I'm going to Russia. Someone I know has traced the origin of the Supernatural Virus which afflicted us some months back. It's a biological weapon, developed specifically to target Supernaturals. And it can't be allowed to continue. We have to reach the facility and destroy it.

And...I'm hoping I'm not going alone, though if you are coming, you're being inoculated against that filth again. I won't risk anyone catching it.

This is going to be dangerous. There are a lot of factors here. Warlords and...you know, Russia. This is not going to be easy.

And I thought I was going to have a quiet night in...

28 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Thursday, January 7th, 2010 @ 9:16pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

We went to the house Lavinia described, but Amaris wasn't there. The man she killed in order to steal his home was, but she was long gone. We'll keep looking.

I've visited Dragonetti a number of times now. He hasn't changed his tune. I told him I was not the Antichrist, and I showed him the angel who had made me immortal, and he decided that I had somehow brainwashed Rolf, and now he thinks Rolf is my lover.

Why does he assume every man I have ties to is my lover? That was only true once! And past-tense! He apparently thinks I 'conquered' Thomas, Stuart, Robert, Adrian, Rolf, and Ryn. Hmm. Oh, AND Daniel. Who is my cousin, thank you. Honestly? The last man I found attractive (other than Johnny Depp, but who is immune to him?) was David. Before I met Aly. Before we became friends. He thinks this is hilarious, by the way. I do not have 2894782 Satanic lovers, you deluded man! I'm married!

He frustrates me. I hope we get through to him before I accidentally punch him in the teeth or something. Fuck.

In happy news, Flynn came over this afternoon and he asked Aly to help decorate his wedding to Quinn and now she's dancing all over the house and decorating everything (including me; I was the bemused recipient of a doily...) and it's adorable.

Back to the hospital. Perhaps another counseling Dragonetti session...

49 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Thursday, December 31st, 2009 @ 8:23pm]
[ mood | blah ]

I hate it when he goes away.

46 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Tamm [Tuesday, December 29th, 2009 @ 12:05am]
[ mood | worried ]

I don't know if you read what Amaris wrote, but I need you to know it's not your fault. She's probably just justifying any action she may take in the future. Had we taken her off there without her escaping, I highly doubt she would have thanked us, as she would have been a prisoner in the hospital.

Please don't let her get to you?

10 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Sunday, December 27th, 2009 @ 6:03pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Dragonetti is in my hospital. Behind so many locked doors, he'll never escape. He held my family hostage and I have a dreadful feeling he meant to do quite a lot of damage. They found explosives on him at the hospital. And I'm not entirely sure what an explosion might do to an immortal body. I know what it would have done to Caleb and Hope though...

I'm just so relieved Tasha wasn't home. He was waiting for her. He said her name backwards was 'Ah, Satan'. I really do wonder where these people come up with this stuff.

We didn't get Amaris, but we got Dragonetti. That's not nothing.

And we're at Liz's tonight and then Spain tomorrow. Home just doesn't feel so wonderful right now.

41 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Thursday, December 24th, 2009 @ 7:35pm]
[ mood | numb ]

Hello.

We'll be back in London in a few hours. I'm in an airport, watching Saul and Ryn wheedle their dealios with the thing and playing with my stupid, inexplicable iPhone. I don't so much do this...covert, underhandy stuff. Or technology. I bet someone else will have to post this for me.

Anyway, we managed to break our way through the guards without much fighting. Namely because Mirela and Joel put on quite a show. The Templar have decided I'm the Antichrist and nothing can sway that belief, so we showed them what messing with that kind of thing entails.

I uhm...do think some of them might be too terrified to do much of anything beyond crying into their holy water for the next six months.

We rescued three people. Amaris got away. Long story, and the fault of the Templar. I think she'll stay hidden for a while.

40 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Spectre and Thomas [Monday, December 21st, 2009 @ 10:44am]
[ mood | restless ]

Adrian, please pardon me for saying this and understand I am not saying it lightly.

I went to see Razvan before we left and I am writing this in a humid hotel room while Caoilfhionn snores a few feet away. I do not believe that Razvan was the one to harm Mara, and if not because I don't think he is capable of that kind of thing anymore, than definitely because I don't think he would put in the effort required to keep up a charade. He was always a follower, not a leader. He's lazy.

I completely understand why he was put into isolation and obviously if I didn't I wouldn't have left him there. I told him to be patient, and he growled at me, but I think he understands. Yet another reason why I don't think he was responsible. He made no attempt to harm me when I told him I was leaving him there. He saw reason. And now I need to ask you if you are capable of something. Are you capable of seeing him and reading his intentions without harming him? I would have Rolf do it, but I trust him about as far as I could throw him and I know I am not alone in feeling that. I think you are the only person who's reading of him you would trust right now. Mara has been through a great deal and it stands to reason that she panicked when a demon entered her room. Any demon. And it may be that she was made to see things that were not real as well, and Anna told me the demon wore a mask. If you read Razvan's intentions and you still believe he is to blame, I cannot argue with that. I think you'll find he's convincing, however. Or I hope you will. I don't know how much good being detained when he hasn't done anything is going to do him.

If you don't feel you can do it, I understand. I just feel for him. It is my opinion that he has been unfortunately caught up in all this, even if it is all completely understandable.

As always, I love you and I will see you soon, my friend.

15 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Saturday, December 19th, 2009 @ 6:41pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I know where I have to go to save the demons and angels the Templar have in their custody.

Nova Prata.

There are some in other places close by, but most of them are there. Including Amaris. I'll be leaving in the morning.

33 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Friday, December 18th, 2009 @ 2:10pm]
[ mood | content ]

Deirdre had her twins at around 2 this afternoon. Gabriel Liam Gallagher and Eiley Kaitlyn Gallagher. They're all doing fine and she would like company if anyone wants to visit.

Gabriel and Eiley are gorgeous. As is Deirdre.

27 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 @ 10:58pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Today I scared the living daylights out of some snot-nosed kid who was trying to force himself on my daughter. I had a vision and I showed up at his house and he looked scared to death. Lydia had already broken his nose and she assures me she kicked him in the bollocks too. Apparently he wanted to kiss and when she said no, he said he would spread rumors around that she was promiscuous. Luckily Lydia was having none of that and then I showed up, wielding my fatherly crazy. Lydia and I had a long talk about not going to boy's houses when you don't know them, and I realised that I do matter. Because I could have been in a hole in Rome and then what I saw in my vision would have happened. But it didn't. Just because I can't see where the poor people in my other visions are yet...that doesn't make me useless. It makes the visions really fucking annoying, but I'm not useless.

And the Templar can kiss my arse, because I'm not stopping. They can put me in a hole and do whatever else they want to, and I am not stopping. I'm angry now. Angry for what they did when before I just felt despair. Now I'm livid. At the Templar and at horny teenage boys who think my Lydia is theirs for the taking. No way in hell. To either of them.

28 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 @ 1:52pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I can sit up again! I can breathe! I can stay awake for longer than an hour!

I can't stop coughing for more than 30 minutes, but considering the triumphs up there, not coughing can follow.

Aly is making me lunch and I can smell it and this is very exciting. Welcome to my exciting, exciting, very exciting life.

17 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Thursday, November 5th, 2009 @ 10:18pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

I have pneumonia.

Stupid fecking Templar.

47 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 @ 7:53pm]
[ mood | listless ]

I've been avoiding this because it seems so trivial somehow. And writing here means I'll have to get introspective and that's more than a little scary. But my best friend is gone again, and without him to know how I'm feeling without ever having to ask...it means I'll have to start speaking up.

I just spent three weeks being told and treated like I was the most despicable and disgusting thing on this Earth. Nothing I said mattered, even though it was all true. Dragonetti was there, which means he did fake his death. I'd know his voice anywhere. And he took his hood off a few times because apparently you can't spit at people through those things. They put me in a cell that was so far below the ground, I couldn't hear anything. No noise. The air was stale and damp and so cold. There was no light, and Dragonetti said he wouldn't waste food on me. He told me to ask my 'father' for help. Since my father is dead and not Satan, that would be pretty ineffectual. And when I was too weak from lack of food to answer his questions, he said it was a 'trick'. I was trying to trick him with my physical need. I would have gone mad there, I think. They interrogated me once, asking where Aly was. But it seemed half-hearted, if one could say such a thing. Mostly, I was just locked in the room, and then chained to a wall so I couldn't get anywhere near the locked door. It was dark and silent and cold and horrible.

If it hadn't been for Daniel, I don't know what I would have done. Daniel was the guardian of that place they had me in. He's my cousin. Johan's brother. He says the Templar took him from his 'business' years ago and tried to purify him. He ran to Saul afterwards and joined them. Saul told him to join the Templar, and the Templar shoved him in that hole, but not as a prisoner. The guard has to stay underground and he'd been there for five years, unable to leave. He helped me. He knew who I was, but never said. I think in case I sang like a stool pigeon when things got rough. But he was the only one who brought me food. And cigarettes, shhh. He's staying at the hospital for a while. He doesn't really feel like seeing people, and that's fair. He's not used to them. But I owe him a great deal of gratitude.

Mostly, I don't know how I feel. Strange. My wife came to rescue me and she couldn't have been more beautiful. I'm safe now. I'm a hell of a lot thinner, I have a few lovely new scars, and I'm showering 4 times a day because I feel disgusting, but safe. Dragonetti demonstrated his inability to kill me in front of whomever took over for Coronati, though. They all believe him now. I think having me lit some sort of fire under them. I've been having visions (which are also 'devil's trickery' if you weren't aware) of angels and demons being strung up like poor Rosa. Nothing definitive yet, though the second there is we'll need to help those poor people. I only hope the Templar don't do anything like they did to London a few years back. I hope, if we can take their 'symbols' from them again, it will stop this. I believe we can.

I still feel like a worthless piece of shit. I don't know how to make that go away.

44 Confessions | Confess to Me

Filtered to Thomas [Saturday, October 10th, 2009 @ 1:00am]
[ mood | depressed ]

God, I wish you were here.

2 Confessions | Confess to Me

Friends Only [Monday, October 5th, 2009 @ 6:48pm]
[ mood | amused ]

My children are all against me.

Alllll eight of them.

49 Confessions | Confess to Me

To Those in the Know [Sunday, October 4th, 2009 @ 8:42pm]
[ mood | angry ]

http://officer-paul.livejournal.com/1174.html

Oh no, no, no he didn't.

I had a vision this afternoon when Deirdre was visiting. I couldn't see the person's face, but someone rose from a bed and they were calling 'rising again' or some...utter tripe. And he started talking about how they needed to focus on Rosa. On getting Rosa.

I think it was Dragonetti. I think they broke him out of prison by faking his death and now he's going to 'rise again' because of course he would be promoted to some sort of Christ-like figure while fighting against 'the Antichrist'.

Beyond being utterly terrified, I find myself incredibly amazed by their idiocy and willingness to believe whatever fairytale they are told.

Rosa's safe, but if Dragonetti is back and he's thwarted in his desire to apprehend her, he'll lash out in whatever way he can.

Oh, this is not the kind of news we needed today or ever.

60 Confessions | Confess to Me

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